It Breaks Hearts
What is it? That breaks hearts? The struggle to reconcile our being with the notion of us held by the outside world, what others want or need from us.
Not being corny at all here… I have been watching lots of interviews with George Micheal in the past week. (I discovered that he was much more open in interviews he did in Europe and the UK during his life, especially his more recent life). He said in an interview about 12 years ago that he finally understood how celebrities, famous artists can lose their mind in their 40’s and 50’s. He struggled for decades to come to terms with ways to deal with his celebrity, media publicity, and his intentions for his craft and his life… And I believe now that his death was, in indirect ways or not, an effect of his lack of desire to live with media as such an invasive force in his life, for the rest of his life. Not being able to separate one’s life from one’s public presence…that would really drain personal energy…Millions of people wanting to know and conclude things about you indefinitely…and you not knowing how to stop that… An artist like him whose contact and relationship with his true fans was so important to him was antithetical in many ways to his personal need for less if not no invasiveness in his life.
I hope his last years with his partner were happy, and his last years creating music that he had never created before were happy for him.
It sounds superficial, but it is not…that there are things for everyday people to learn from experiences so far away from us and so seemingly ‘unreal’.
G. Michael always struck me as a soft, vulnerable, genuine, open artist…When he sang, when he spoke when I saw him live, he spoke to every individual. There was no filter between his truth in his songs and the world. It is never entirely the same flow of energy the other way around. And a feeling person, a connected person can only handle so much energy loss through social, personal exposure.
From now on we will be enjoying his remaining work without taking anything from him. He will keep all of his beauty, even while we benefit from his gifts.
And I will continue on that road of learning how to ‘be’ in a way that the energy the flows from me manifests as genuine and nurturing an energy in return…