I have almost 4 university degrees. I graduated from my first at 25. You know how many of us just go to university after high school because, well…what else do you do? 5 years later I graduated from my second bachelor’s degree… This one was the source of quite a bit more inspiration and propelled me towards more substantial interests in a particular subject area. So right away I went into a Masters degree in 2003, and continued on to a PhD in 2005.
It is now 2016, I am 44, and I have been in school (including grade school) for a total of 38 years. (I took a year from school and traveled in 1992, and in 1998. In 2000 I was traveling but most of that year I was doing a correspondence course in anthropology…
So…Here I am.
My PhD is unfinished. After more than 9 years…it puttered out. I have a 225-page document…that is in the form of a thesis…And no place to go.
Why…why have I? Why have I moored myself into the school context like this for all of these years…And why am I sitting in this unfinished spot after all of that?
It’s a pun.
I sat with my life coach this past weekend for a little while and what came up for me?
All by itself the thought occurred…
School is the only place I have felt I had supervision.
How many times did I hear when I was young that it was strange for me to be all by myself all of the time… Or hear that parents were not that thrilled with me when they found out what my mother was like…that she left me alone. How many times was I not picked up on time or left when my mother worked, or hung out with boyfriends. Or just whenever. That interest that someone is supposed to take in your progress, in your activity, in whether you are even present or not. I got that consistently at school. Not so much at home.
People were watching me at school.
I was not so often inventoried at home.