Monthly Archives: March 2016

Thoughts that I wrote down

Step programs have helped me to stop punishing myself so much, stop the self-loathing, stop taking so much responsibility for other people’s actions, stop obsessing non-stop.

I need to make my home somewhere I am always comfortable in and WANT to go home to.

I have a difficult time writing because I don’t think what I write is very good, and I don’t respect my method. I trust or appreciate my process of learning.

I need a safe home – what does safe mean for me? I don’t gather ‘to-do’s’ in my home, including people that I have to do something for before myself.

 

Flight

I try to write down things that are coming to me…and as soon as I start to write it disappears…
I’m so fucking angry about that.

I woke up and realized that I was so stressed because I think first about how someone is angry with me.

The second thing is that I felt dishonest… About my response? Maybe hiding my resentment or my fear of standing up for myself, or my failure to make the decision I want…