Priority Lies


What are the most important things to me right now?

  • Getting a job.
  • Developing my business of teaching yoga, personal coaching (making money at those things.)
  • Writing down everything that I feel strongly about, everything that I am figuring out and realizing from day to day and even hour to hour.
  • Getting physically fit.

What does my typical day look like?

  • I don’t set an alarm (because I am afraid I will not have gotten to sleep early enough to get sleep)
  • I wake up in dread, usually between 730 and 9. I don’t get out of bed right away because I feel like I am just here to ‘work’ for shit and I don’t look forward to anything fun or happy.
  • when I do get up I drink water, feed the cat and do some exercise (yoga or stretching). I usually get into browsing youtube for silly stuff instead of doing yoga from one of my favorite videos and then shutting off the tv.
  • After often a couple of hours I eat breakfast and get washed up.
  • I might start ‘working’ on something by late morning or early afternoon, at which time I feel like I’ve already failed in my day.
  • I hunker down to write something or work on finding a job and
    1. each task takes me at least 3 times longer than I expected, or
    2. I find it impossible to keep from trying to work on 3 or 4 to-do’s at once.
  • Once I’ve gotten myself buried, without focus, in one or a bunch of things I begin to feel tired (eyes) and uncomfortable from sitting in front of the computer.
  • then I feel too ashamed to go outside and be human because I have made myself so unhappy.
  • I check my calendar here and there to see what I have knocked off my list of to-do’s.
  • I think about fun things to do to celebrate any accomplishments of the day, but my inside police make me reduce my ideas to something smaller and smaller until I do nothing fun. I procrastinate about having fun…

Bleh. I’ll have to look back it this post later because I can feel how I really wrote myself into a depressing hole.

I have a Hot Stone Yoga webpage to write…So, I’ll grab a bite to eat and do that next. Phew.

 

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About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on February 6, 2016, in 12-step, Addiction, Adult Children, Alanon, Balance, codependence, dark daze, emotional sobriety, health, Inner child, Parenting, recovery, Relationship, Self-Care, Uncategorized, withdrawal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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