Even If Others Don’t ‘Get me’, or Agree With Me, or Approve of Me, I…


Have an incredible need to be REAL, honest, and vulnerable.

Real?

 

  • I am righteously indignant.
  • I am scared.
  • I am jarred by others’ expectations of me…by their (possible) reactions to me.
  • I am ‘being’ nice, because I am scared if I be me… I am scared that being me is not being nice…(!?)
  • ‘Being me’ is…doing things that make me happy, that occupy my senses, that ease my mind.
  • I am quiet. I am loud inside.

 

Honest

  • I find it impossible often to act on my own…plan. To establish my own plan.
  • I feel directionless.
  • I hate (resent?) people’s reliance on presumptions — so much so that people don’t even know the difference between real and unreal — so that they can make their plan come true even if it is not someone else’s plan (The things people do and say do not always mean what you think or feel they do).
  • I think (although I don’t want to) that people ‘should’ be nice to me.

Vulnerable.

  • I have needs
    • I need quiet.
    • I need simple.
    • I need healthy.
    • I need gentleness
    • I need touch.

Do you know what’s true?

I am water.

Do you know what water does? It makes its way through or around or over almost anything.

It smoothes stone.

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About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on December 28, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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