Love What About You?
I did this exercise…
I rushed through it a little, because it was intimidating… But I did it and came out of it with a result.
When I imagined looking at myself in the mirror and asked if I love myself as much as the other person, I realized that, when I got past looking, when I got past knowing that I appreciate me as a person ‘figure’… I realized that the thing that I don’t ‘love’ about myself is the way I feel.
I don’t love how I feel. About things. About others. About myself. Feelings of sadness. Fatigue. Resignation. Cynicism. Pretending to be strong and impenetrable when I am wounded. A messy emotional blob I am, walking around.
And then I also realized…Well, according to the types of things I am reading, according to the meditation practice I am following…my feelings are not who I am. These feelings are caused by my experience of the world. But I am deeper than that. I am that which is aware of this. If I am not my feelings. If I am not my sad choices, actions, interactions…then I could actually love myself for ‘being’. And accept the rest for what it is.
Posted on October 16, 2015, in 12-step, AA, Addiction, Adult Children, Alanon, codependence, Domestic Violence, emotional abuse, emotional sobriety, Inner child, Meditation, recovery, Relationship, withdrawal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.