Afraid To Say? 

I’m now into my 5th week of The Presence Process. (See the book by Michael Brown)

And felt sensations and feelings are banging on my inside walls like never before. It’s clearer to me every day how much is compacted down in the recesses of me… And clearer and clearer in the moment when I am trying to beat down feelings instead of feel, express and/or process them. 

Right now I am trying to read some anthropology stuff and feeling a mixture of guilt and hate and angst because of how I’ve handled my work in the past years.

I simply need to take this opportunity to express how absolutely uncomfortable I feel. How irritated and painstaken I feel. I noticed I was trying to keep it in and go on with things. And I’d rather not. I’d rather begin to process so I don’t take this “grrrr” with me into the afternoon, evening and night… 

I didn’t ever know that was possible. I’m still learning to believe that feeling is part of life. It’s a human thing. And attending to my feelings is absolutely necessary and human and…a gift. To myself and to others.

Say what we’re afraid to say, afraid to feel. All the time. To others, or even to ourselves. And hear it. 


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on September 15, 2015, in 12-step, Addiction, Adult Children, Alanon, codependence, emotional abuse, Inner child, Meditation, recovery, Relationship, Uncategorized, withdrawal. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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