Safe Place for Expressing Emotions
At my therapist’s this morning, we got to exploring the fact that I am pent up emotionally. She expressed how she perceived me, how she felt that I was just waiting to be able to just let go and scream from the mountain tops or laugh with reckless abandon. And how I am super rigid about the boundaries I have that don’t allow that to happen. Basic stuff? Yeah. But a minefield of a place to navigate inside.
What is a safe place to talk about how you feel? What is a safe time to really express what’s going on in my mind and heart? I make excuses constantly that justify me keeping all of my gobbledy-goop inside.
I might offend someone.
I might look out of control.
I might be wrong.
Someone will hate me for it.
Someone will distance themselves.
I will have to do it multiple times.
It will be painful.
I won’t be a grown-up.
Everything will fall apart.
Oh, and I feel destitute when someone says they will be ‘there’ and don’t show because I got used to the idea that they would be. And I planned on it. I planned for something, and if they are not there and something else happens I will be alone… I know that is a little mysterious… But I had to write it down. Because the alone thing…I have to sort that out. Why am I sometimes fine with being alone, and other times feel completely beside myself?