What goes down must come up.

Yesterday was an emotionally irruptive day. Volcano, seriously. I can’t tell you exactly what is coming up. I just know that it’s trying to escape like a natural force. With the uncontainable power of a natural force.

I knew I couldn’t keep it down forever. How many of you know what it’s like to keep on stuffing, and stuffing, and stuffing…? Some of us never experience those moments where we stuffed so much that we are like the champion of an emotional eating contest. We’ve tried to pack back so many emotions, and our emotional weight is about 10,000 pounds. That is not a sustainable emotional mass. it wants to seep out of our pores. I know that feeling after Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner…when your body just wants to give up and you can barely inhale let alone take another bite. Well, whatever’s inside me is revoltingabout being crowded in so tightly.

I haven’t been fair, and I’m suffering for it.

How fortunate I am to have a friend who walked blocks and blocks with me on the way home from work last night. Well I blubbered cried pretty much the whole way. How fortunate am i?

I’ve never felt it so necessary to show what I was taught as a young girl is ugly. Never been in such a desperate moment to love myself even though I feel so bad.

It feels more right to bawl my eyes out, then to sit at home like a rock or hide in my office like a ghost.

Because I’m a human being, perhaps?


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on February 11, 2015, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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