When it first begins to come clear…the silence. When serenity, calm become noticeable…I mistake them for mistakes. For a glitch in the fabric of my day, considering what my days typically feel like.

It is difficult to believe that serenity or peace are. Just that they ‘are’. Because one can really only find them inside, they can rub up wrongly against loneliness. No matter how quiet or easy sanity is, it is uncomfortable because it is probably not including the person or people you are most crazy with. You are experiencing sanity alone, from inside. Experiencing it with others is only possible when the other person is also in the same place…

It is the loneliness of new sanity, new serenity, new peace. The loud silence that is intimidating… Staying with it starts to make my chest expand only in the way it does when I have experienced a huge shock or scare but there was no danger of being hurt… LIke that one huge jolt that took all of the air out of you and made your chest ache…


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on December 15, 2014, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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