Abuse in my relationship:
Things he did:
Standing over me, getting “in my face,” blocking a doorway, grabbing you if you try to leave, slapping, choking, threatening to harm me, throwing things, breaking things, punching walls or doors.
Playing mind games with me, twisting every- thing around- nothing is their fault and all of their behavior was caused by something you did or didn’t do, accusing me of doing things that they are doing, lying, manipulating you for control or sex, claiming that you are always wrong, distort- ing reality so I think I am losing my mind.
Withholding money, shaming you for how you spend your money, putting all the bills/credit cards in my name.
Yelling, shouting, swearing, continuously argu- ing, interrupting, talking over me, put downs, using loud and threatening language and tone to cause fear, name calling, intimidating, mocking, abusive language.
pressure for sex
Insults, put downs, intimidating you, embarrassing you in public, talking down to you, not listening to your point of view, not respecting your feelings, being jealous or possessive, wanting to control you, accusations of cheating, making you feel like you need to justify yourself, lying about disloyalty
things I did…
– I kicked him in the butt for calling me names
– I spoke down to him when I was so angry about his lies and neglect…
– I insulted him when he wanted to drink and spend time with drinking buddies or enablers instead of do anything else (be with me)…
– I was possessive…
Even now when I think about these things I experience the thick fog of fear that doesn’t yet let me see past the pain of it all…
Really “seeing ” it all is a challenge.
Posted on April 8, 2014, in 12-step, Addiction, Adult Children, codependence, Domestic Violence, emotional abuse, emotional sobriety, Inner child, physical abuse, recovery, Relationship, Uncategorized, withdrawal. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.