The Truth About My Experience With Men – part 2
My experience with G – my recent Ex.
– when I met him, he told me he had been in jail 10 years before. I listened and stayed.
– when we were getting to know each other he told me he had hit his ex, the mother of his kids. I listened and stayed.
– when we were getting to know each other he called me in the middle of the night to ask me if my intentions were honest (he was drunk and was having a conversation about me with his mean brother). I listened and stayed.
– about 4-6mos after we met I let him move into my place – he disappeared for a weekend once while he stayed at his ex’s and had a ‘nice’ weekend with his kids… I listened to his excuses and stayed.
– he started to ream me out one day in a restaurant for something I didn’t even understand. I listened and I stayed.
– I lent him $400 once, with the understanding he would pay it back 2 weeks later. A day before the 2 weeks was up, he asked me if he could pay half the next day, and half in two weeks. I said no (not knowing what response I was in for) and he reamed me out at the bar we were sitting at, and then yelled at me out on the street calling me selfish, and whatever other names… I listened and stayed.
– He went on drunk binges for night after night…When he would come home (1 am give or take an hour), he would wake me up to talk…Sometimes he was in a good mood, sometimes not. I listened and stayed.
– Eventually I started acting like little Shantelle (see part 1) and hid under the bed waiting for him to show up. When he came in I would stay under the bed until he passed out on the couch. Then I would pretend I was out and wake him up off the couch… I still stayed.
– Soon I found out he was at strip clubs. And one night I found out he kissed a stripper who was giving him a dance. I got livid. And I stayed…
– He berated me. I stayed.
– After us coming back from a visit with my family he got pissed off about how I didn’t pick up his plate for him in my brothers livingroom and asked me, “What did you do for ME when we were there?!” I listened and stayed.
– So many nights I tried to go to sleep and he lectured me for hours while he was drunk. I listened and stayed.
– We went to cuba and he back-handed me for getting angry that all he wanted to do was drink. I rationalized it “he is sick” and I stayed.
– One day he lost it in our back yard, accusing me of dropping something “too close to his head on purpose”. I turned into little Shantelle… Went inside and locked the door. He went ballistic. I stayed.
– He called me one night for a drive home – I soon discovered he was having a dissociative or some kind of psychotic episode because he had drank and then done coke with his mean brother. I had to chase him across the city and then sat awake with him for hours while I was in some kind of paranoid trance. Wanted to just take him to the hospital but his brother warned me he would not let me. He never went for help with that. I stayed.
– He went on a binge, called from a strip club saying that cops had assaulted him. I went home, locked the door, and hid under the bed. When he came back he knocked because he didn’t have keys. I stayed under the bed.G left and went to neighbors down street. My Neighbor called police. I answered the door for the police. They left except for one car. G called from neighbor’s. Neighbor exasperatingly told me to go get him. He was a mess. I stayed.
– We moved – he said he would really change – I stayed.
– He accused me of not paying my share of expenses. I showed him my excel sheet. He blathered on at me, breaking my heart. I listened and stayed.
– He went out drinking. Came home and woke me up. I was upset. He threatened to “beat the shit out of me”. I called the police. I stayed.
– My cat peed on his pillow. He lost it and told me I should be ‘defending him’ from my cat. I stayed.
– I moved out. I moved back in.
– He lied to me about money, about his ex, about pretty much everything. I stayed.
– He started hanging out with girl ‘friends’ and lied to me about who they were etc. I stayed.
– He got pissed off about cat peeing on his pillow again. He called me names and I headed for the door. He grabbed me by the throat and put me up against the cupboard. I couldn’t breathe. I called the police. Eventually I went back.
– He turned his 10-year and 17-year old kids against me for calling police…and called me a “white supremacist”… I went back.
– He slept with other people. I went back.
– He didn’t go get any help. I went back.
– He drank and drove my car with his kids in it. Then called me names for getting upset about that. I haven’t gone back.