See Reason…

I can’t right now, but every once in a while a reason pops into my head for which I do not call my alcoholic ex. I do not go there. I do not text.

– I have to live 2 separate lives when he is in my life…one with my work and friends and health, and one with him

– I am embarrassed to have him in my life

– I have to be careful what I do and how I act and how much of my feelings or opinions I express…

– I have to worry that I will be criticized, verbally harassed for taking care of myself financially because it looks like I am not taking care of him…being a ‘good’ partner

– I lie to my friends and family about spending time with him

– I spend time on our relationship that he does not.

– I spend time on our relationship that I should be spending on my career…

– I feel alone when I am taking care of what I need to take care of because he doesn’t care…

– I forget myself; I forget to eat, I forget to put food back in the fridge, I forget to put groceries in the freezer

– I give him my car to use even though he does not have a license

– I go to his place even though he does not come to mine

– I put my time and money into his kids but he does not treat me like I am his family…in fact he has told me I am not, and changes his tune when he needs something from me…

– when I am away from him I am lost, disoriented…

– when he tells me I am a bad person I believe him

– when he acts selfish and dishonest I think it says something about me…


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on July 26, 2013, in 12-step, AA, Addiction, Adult Children, codependence, emotional abuse, emotional sobriety, Meditation, recovery, Relationship, Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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