I have talked before about the fact that I feel I get a lot out of AA meetings. This has been a tough couple of days for me and today I was desperate for a meeting. There are some days that it is specifically an AA meeting I feel I need (although I am not an alcoholic). Today’s AA meeting I found just down the street from my house(!yay). It was a room, 2 actually, and it was a step 1 discussion this evening. People’s shares really travelled deep down into me. But tonight it all said something more than it had before. Rather than so much being only reminiscent of or in hope for my ex, it was a gift for me from my higher power. It was much clearer. It was clear that I dont have to be sad that Greg does not choose to get better, as much as I can be elated that so many people do. And rather than making G’s POSSIBLE recovery be the center of my happiness (which is a crash and burn situation) I can participate in my recovery and with others recovery who want it. That makes me happy. Something besides only going for g makes me happy. Finding strength in others who are finding strength brings me to my higher power, to theirs, to each other, together and safe and supportive. People DO love. And they can learn to love themselves and love others in gentle kind honest, humane ways…
The other thing that became clearer to me as I listened to people’s stories about theirown struggles with alcohol was that in order to get to where god takes away your obsession, it is necessary to face one’s weakness(es).
I do not, in other words, have to ask myself to do things that I cannot handle. And if there is no other option I find help or support ASAP. Not only does one have to accept one’s powerlessness, but also what one is powerless over.
Thank you for an absolutely emotionally therapeutic meeting.
Thank HP. I am slow but you spoke clearly tonight.