Codependent Inventory

This is an example of a list of notes I wrote myself while trying to work one day:

-Things I don’t have to think about while I’m working: what I”m going to do tonight (meeting, exercise? school/course-work? laundry?), G, travel plans, what I’m going to cook at home…

Everything is in the way of my writing my dissertation. I let everything get in the way…

obsessing: 3:13p.m

One of my colleagues: can he send me something I can send to students for their reference?

* I spent money today to feel comfort, to feel deserving, to cater to my tastes, to feel like I have a choice and control, to feel like I am not deprived.

A parent would remind me: ‘don’t eat a whole bag of candy’, take breaks when you’re working, meditate during the day, listen to your feelings.

things I can’t do today because I am too busy with work: walk, swim, stepwork, videogame

I was not born to help my mother. I was not born to ‘be there’ for her. That is not my one and only purpose. I was not born to support her. I was not born to pick up other people’s slack. I was not born to… What WAS I born for?


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on June 14, 2013, in 12-step, AA, Addiction, Adult Children, codependence, emotional abuse, emotional sobriety, Meditation, recovery, Relationship. Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Sally forth on your dissertation. It’s you against the thing. No matter what else occurs, you own this and you got this. This is one area where I believe compartmentalization is useful.

    I completed my PhD in three years amidst chaos which is now manifest. Nearly two years later, I’m still trying to answer your last rhetorical question myself. I have to feel that dealing with my codependency will help clear a path. Actually I know what I want, I’m just too untrusting of myself to enact it. It’s coming though. Soon.

    Trust yourself Shantelle. My money’s on you. 😉


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