Please tell me that I don’t have to crash before I realize that I can’t blame anyone but myself for not taking care of myself and my business.
Why is that such a high wall to scale and propel myself over… Why?!
God, please don’t let me lose everything before I see that no one else can care about my life more than I can.
That is the straw right now, that will save or break the Camel’s back. Can I care about my life right NOW? Can I accept that others, especially the addicts and sociopaths in my life do not and CAN NOT care about my life and success and happiness as much as I can? Why is my own caring so secondary to me? Why do I feel their caring about me is the deciding overwhelming factor. It is non-sensical but it is like I have no control over my brain and chest. I am like a moth to a flame. “Psst”, and then toast. What is it that I need to orient my life around?
Answer: My place in the world according to my higher power.
Seems so simple… Which is maybe why I don’t believe it.
Higher power, please show me my necessity in the world today. Please show me that my emotional sobriety is needed over my pacifying drunkards and sociopaths…and pacifying myself.
Imagine I am not invisible anymore. My hurt hurts the world. My happiness makes the world a better place.
Thank you in advance for your help.