Celebrate


Today:
I went to school with a healthy lunch I packed for myself. More food than I could eat, and everything that I like.

I taught my class giving enough responsibility to the class for their own learning, so that I wouldn’t feel like a failure for things that are not my fault.

I left school in time to get home before dark so that I would be happier.

I didn’t force my self to do work when no needed to rest.

I went to a meeting feeling pretty crappy. Felt crappy most of the way through the meeting, but my spirit was lifted up by the totality of the hearts, spirits and words of those who came tonight.

Rather than hurrying home on the subway to stress about work, I walked half way home in the fresh air, stretching my legs… šŸ™‚

When I got home I enjoyed the atmosphere of my little place which I paid someone else to clean today…and I read a book for 2 and a half hours!! Started and almost finished it!! I can’t believe I did something so leisurely. It is a ‘being nice to yourself’ book but a different kind…a story. I was ‘in’ it until I was too tired to keep my eyes open… 1 chapter left I think…!

Learning today about Reparenting oneself(myself):
– Caring about my experience of violence and violation.
‘Caring’ means…empathizing with myself, pausing to feel my feelings, embracing myself(however possible), protecting myself from things that trigger that fear and violation, paying attention to myself enough to stop me from reliving it, stop me from doing things or being with places or people that cause me to relive the same kind of pain, fear, anger… I have lived it enough.

(Re)parenting oneself is anticipating things and preparing to treat oneself well, like a parent must anticipate and prepare for their child’s hunger, changings, fatigue, fear. I live with myself anticipating and acting on what I know of myself, to take myself through a happy and safe life today and every day. I teach myself how to take care of myself and how to protect myself from danger, hurt, and pain.

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About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on January 24, 2013, in Addiction, codependence, emotional abuse, Meditation, Relationship. Bookmark the permalink. 2 Comments.

  1. As someone who has recently begun the journey toward ‘wholeness’, I could relate to your day. I just wanted you to know someone is reading, and relating. šŸ™‚

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