Pray – What would my higher power have me do tonight?
– sit with the peace I have from the meeting, with the hope, with the caring and compassion, with the learning, the listening, the humility, the patience, the revelations, the love people are finding for themselves.
– sit with the distinction between how I can feel and how I have let myself feel for so long
– write down the ways in which I have hurt myself
– write down the things I have remembered, the babysitting situation, the lying, the stealing/eating(?), talking badly about my mother, talking badly about my brother,
– the fact that when I think about going out with everyone that I think about drinking in order to loosen up and show tenderness or sensitivity or happiness, to enjoy myself without inhibitions or the voice in my head that tells me to be self-conscious and be what I ‘should’ be (my mother taught me that, and Greg said that too…I have to look right. Act right… Be something…)