Lately, I have begun to do some very self-kind things. I have only just today looked back and felt some relief and (healthy) pride in myself. And even though bringing myself to do these things most often feels labored, the fact is that I have been staying pretty consistent. Waiting impatiently for the days when self care does not feel labored and guilty and awkward and shameful and out of place or inconvenient… In hindsight, I do feel a little more mature, a little more responsible, a little stronger, a little more important to myself… Wow, good job, Me 🙂
– silent retreat (wow, I took the time off and spent the money…!), yoga almost every day, meditation at a temple at least once a week, meditation at school between teaching classes, meetings at least 3 times a week, calling friends from meetings for emotional support, doing a co-sponsee step study, ordered my own self a 40th birthday cake(!), reducing the amount of time I spend with/on people who trigger me, making myself good food as much as I can, stopping to consider what I need or want in times that feel chaotic, listening to meditations at home before bed and in the mornings, listening to speakers talking about recovery, calling into phone meetings…
All of this gives me a little feeling of accomplishment.