If I Really Look At What I Felt About Something


not regretting those feelings, giving weight to them,

then I discover that I didn’t want to be around what I was angry about.

I don’t want to be around my mother who treats me like she has a great relationship with me because I don’t want to lie to myself anymore.

I don’t call G because I don’t want to lie to myself anymore about not wanting to placate him when he is drinking.

I don’t call a friend because I don’t feel happiness, I don’t want to feel expectation, I don’t know what to do to be real and not feel crappy at the same time. I don’t know exactly what is real about me and I am tired of lying to myself…

Advertisements

About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on August 28, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: