Responsible for/Taking care of myself today:
– fed me first (before kitty, before plants…)
– read steps book while watering garden, thought about what I needed to do for me next 1)look up therapy – done 2)stretch/yoga
– plan to work in the aftn, after I have addressed things that feel closest to responding to my emotional needs.
I woke up too early again this morning, and then bided my time in bed even though I was feeling bad about doing that. I rationalized that I already felt bad for waking up so early…
I really need practice at these simple steps:
1) listen to what I’m feeling
2) do something about it (like I would so easily do for someone else).
– I didn’t answer my mother’s call this morning – had no desire
– realized I felt unimportant to her because she continues to call when I asked her not to.
– no desire to listen to her messages
– what makes me feel good is to not think about ‘how I make her feel’… (of course I care about how she feels, but she says and does things to suck me in to believing that “if I ____” then I am a good daughter”. I have gotten to the end of my rope with that.