Down down down

Hard day.
Why don’t I like being around people, being around family, being around some things. I think that I am angry because I couldn’t get close to marley and that is one of the big things I want to do. Brother didn’t let me get there at all. And he listens hears acknowledges so little of me, his sister… Felt again, like no room for me. I fear it is my own thing. Feeling that often. Probably because it’s true, and because people have learned to live beside me the way I have always been acting, not the way I want to be. I don’t even know yet how to be different. I am trying new stuff. But I am struggling. When I change it will change my world.
Wish I could knock things off a few pegs right NOW… Can’t stand this pain.

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