I can feel that I have the potential to feel physically fantastic today, but I also feel this nagging bad karma thing. I am not breathing right, my chest feels like a bag of heavy metal blocks, awkwardly sitting on each other, not fitting, the corners digging into the inside of my chest… I have such bad patterns with myself and with people, and I need to find the gumption and courage to get out of them.
I am anxious about having taken time this morning to
– do yoga and stretching for the better part of an hour
– taking time to bring my air conditioner up the stairs when I did.
– rearranging the livingroom.
– opening the mail
– looking at the garden and watering the plants
I feel anxious because
– of all of the things I said to G.
– KT hasn’t responded to me
– I am not working and when I look at my paper I want to through up a stomach…
– the time is ticking away
– I feel like an insolent child