UPs and DOWNs
Down: friend’s cat peed on entrance mat so I had to move the littler box back into the house instead of leaving it on the deck.
Up: at a cafe doing some work, getting some continuous time in
Down: woke up tired and hot, couldn’t tell if some things I remembered were dreams or real.
Down: almost no appetite. Forced myself to eat a couple of simple things that I could stomach.
Down: I think I am losing weight again
Down: it is too hot to work at home
Down: my body hurts, especially my arms.
Up: I think I have realized that my work is not going well because I am overwhelmed with all of the material I have in front of me. I have moments of optimism that I can finish one piece at a time and that one piece can go in more than one paper, meaning at moments I will be twice and productive.
Up: Walked to cafe to work instead of driving.
Up: planted more herbs this morning, in a pot I can put on the deck.
Down: I planted things procrastinating, because I don’t want to suffer with my emotionally paralyzed brain.
Down: G called and I called back. I said something else mean…
Up: the people who were sitting here around me at the cafe talking about wedding planning are gone, so I don’t have that noise in my brain as I am trying to work.
Down: i didn’t do Yoga today because my place is too hot.
Down: I think some of my friends think I am pathetic.
Down: I failed to adjust today, after getting perspective on the ugly angry piece of me yesterday. I failed today with it already.
Up: I took a shower today.
Up: I went down to the lake last night and it relaxed me a little…