While it’s just me, what is important? Well, forever then. Because it’s always just me.


This is a difficult question, a difficult mental exercise. I can certainly answer the question for a friend, or 10. But me? I am ‘acting like’ I feel like my things are important.

Do I just feel guilty all day every day that I am not finished my thesis, and that I am so repulsed by it?!

Well, maybe. But back to the question. What is important in Karrie-land? Ummm

Garden

Yoga

Food

Bikes

Outdoors

Sailing lessons

Comfy things

Sleep

Things I like are important in Karrie-land…!!! That’s it! What I like is important.

So, when it comes to that realization that other things provide structure to my life, like school and boyfriends… What will be MY structure? What structure will come from me. What structure will remain with me through to my death, even if I start to see someone? What structure will I want to hold on to that much. Which structure will I be able to respect myself with? Which structure will I hold onto while someone else looks on and appreciates me for who I am? I though G was appreciating what I was doing, but he was not. Back though, to my structure: what structures Karrie’s life?

Hm – already gave myself the answer AGAIN! Things I Like!!

Yay. Every moment, things I like will be the structure of my life. So, I like the things I listed above, but in themselves they are not the structure of my life, they are some of the structure of my life because of how I do them, how much I do them, what I make of them when I do them.

Learning is something that is part of the architecture of my life. Everything I do I feel as though I am learning from. I do it because I CAN learn from it.

I like to put myself into things. That is what my life is like.

I just have to be careful, now that I have had insight, to put myself into MY stuff and not someone else’s. Put myself into MY self. Everything. Unless I am ‘helping’ someone else. Not doing things for them. Only helping them to do things. Woh, this is going to be intense learning…!!! <huge exhale>

 

Advertisements

About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on May 30, 2012, in Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: