While it’s just me, what is important? Well, forever then. Because it’s always just me.
This is a difficult question, a difficult mental exercise. I can certainly answer the question for a friend, or 10. But me? I am ‘acting like’ I feel like my things are important.
Do I just feel guilty all day every day that I am not finished my thesis, and that I am so repulsed by it?!
Well, maybe. But back to the question. What is important in Karrie-land? Ummm
Things I like are important in Karrie-land…!!! That’s it! What I like is important.
So, when it comes to that realization that other things provide structure to my life, like school and boyfriends… What will be MY structure? What structure will come from me. What structure will remain with me through to my death, even if I start to see someone? What structure will I want to hold on to that much. Which structure will I be able to respect myself with? Which structure will I hold onto while someone else looks on and appreciates me for who I am? I though G was appreciating what I was doing, but he was not. Back though, to my structure: what structures Karrie’s life?
Hm – already gave myself the answer AGAIN! Things I Like!!
Yay. Every moment, things I like will be the structure of my life. So, I like the things I listed above, but in themselves they are not the structure of my life, they are some of the structure of my life because of how I do them, how much I do them, what I make of them when I do them.
Learning is something that is part of the architecture of my life. Everything I do I feel as though I am learning from. I do it because I CAN learn from it.
I like to put myself into things. That is what my life is like.
I just have to be careful, now that I have had insight, to put myself into MY stuff and not someone else’s. Put myself into MY self. Everything. Unless I am ‘helping’ someone else. Not doing things for them. Only helping them to do things. Woh, this is going to be intense learning…!!! <huge exhale>