What I really am today
I put an exhausting effort into putting it out there that I am ok. But what I really am today is
– someone who couldn’t get out of bed when she planned to
– someone who dreaded writing from the instant she woke up, through doing Yoga, through her 15 min. walk, through making and eating breakfast, and as she thought about reconstructing her desk space (for more procrastinating)… But I didn’t reconstruct it (for now).
– thinking a lot of G today, yesterday, almost wanted to call, but looked back at the last texts that I sent him and felt bad, and then also thought of all of the things that remain the same because he doesn’t even know how to change them let alone want to…
– someone who can’t seem to keep a clean house. all I do is rearrange and tidy up and while I do that I seem to mess everything up along behind me. There is always more little to scoop. Always more dishes to do. Always more chores…
– a girl that needs a vacation… wow… A real one, like Greece, for a long while.
– am I a privileged sook, or are my expressions ok?
– Depressed girl, some might say.