I Knew

When I miss him, it will only help to remind myself that I knew…

– I knew he was dishonest

– I knew he was immature

– I knew he was abusive

– I knew he was a little mixed up with what is right and wrong

– I knew he was codependent

– I knew he could blame anyone for anything

– I knew he was going to crash with his money

– I knew he was using me, whether he knew it or not

– I knew he didn’t appreciate me for who I am

– I knew I was giving him chances over and over and over again, even from the first night out when he commented with an exclamation mark on the price of the beer (1 bee for me, I can’t remember if he had two).

– I knew he was anxious

– I knew he was keeping things from me

– I knew he was spiteful

– I knew he was insecure

– I knew he was irresponsible

– I knew he was in denial

My mistake was thinking that he wanted different because he wanted to be with me… Or something along those lines. He either wants different or he doesn’t. It doesn’t have anything to do with him wanting to be with me.

If I can get that through my head I will be free. If I can get past the guilt I and think about other things besides how he is feeling, what he things about what I said or did or didn’t say or didn’t do, what he is doing to compensate for my absence, who he is stringing bs stories to… etc., etc…


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on April 29, 2012, in emotional abuse, Relationship. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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