I haven’t written in the past week or so. Curious, because it’s not like things are not still like a twilight zone. I guess I can’t gush irrationality when I have to pull myself together for school work. I have to put myself last. Trying to find some independence. Trying to do well. Trying to not lull. But I guess I could write something good when I am trying to look ‘up’…

I am not independent yet. I am not an adult yet. I do not follow my instincts. I attach my well-being and success to someone else. I am scared when I think about what independence actually entails. But I really do not want to relive the nightmares I have put myself through over this first 39 years. I scared to be alone, with myself. But more s red of not being alone for the wrong reasons because it is going to kill me. I keep on going to people that just need more and more from me… And people who are not like me.


About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on April 27, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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