AWOL


I haven’t written in the past week or so. Curious, because it’s not like things are not still like a twilight zone. I guess I can’t gush irrationality when I have to pull myself together for school work. I have to put myself last. Trying to find some independence. Trying to do well. Trying to not lull. But I guess I could write something good when I am trying to look ‘up’…

I am not independent yet. I am not an adult yet. I do not follow my instincts. I attach my well-being and success to someone else. I am scared when I think about what independence actually entails. But I really do not want to relive the nightmares I have put myself through over this first 39 years. I scared to be alone, with myself. But more s red of not being alone for the wrong reasons because it is going to kill me. I keep on going to people that just need more and more from me… And people who are not like me.

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About wonderfulshantelle

Journey To My Wonderful Self

Posted on April 27, 2012, in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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